ok its not Coldelae related in any way whatsoever but is a bloody funny read, it's genuine - the whole email conversation happened on Wednesday last week and after this episode he actually split up with her !!!!
Read from the bottom up
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Ok then.
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I think its best you go and do your Oxford thing and we speak once they've won / lost in the play off's because I can't handle you behaving like a child anymore.
Have a good weekend, see your mates and get ENGERLAND or whatever you always call it and I'll speak to you next week.
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For Christ’s sake, I've offered you an olive branch. Do you want to see me this weekend or not? Either we have a weekend together or we dont but I cant be bothered with a petty row anymore.
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Simon, you don't understand do you? If Swindon win you'll probably come home in a foul mood.
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Come on your being a bit melodramatic, lets have a good night on Saturday. Plus it's not like I would choose to go to Swindon on Saturday, its only because Im being paid to!!!
Come on chill out.
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No you didn't. You've been acting like an a***hole for the last month now, I don't know whats been the matter with you. Your going on the piss all day on Sunday, your going to Swindon on Saturday and your going to Oxford on Monday and don't tell me you wont get pissed because I remember what happened when you went to Tamworth just because you got offered free tickets and we should have gone to Stowe.
Its quite obvious where your priorities lie and im sick and tired of you to be honest.
Have a good weekend with your mates.
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FYI, the game's sold out now. Sorry I did try to get you one. Really hope you can let this go though, it was a genuine mistake and I dont want it to ruin the rest of the weekend.
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No way am I, your basically having a go at me and demanding I pay for you to come to the biggest game of our season so you can sit there 50 seats from me looking miserable.
Sorry you've missed the boat, I spoke to you last week about the nightmare I had getting tickets, I told you my dad and Julie were coming to the game, this isn't my fault and you getting pissed off is not to do with me.
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No can you do it please seeing as though your happy to sort everyone else out other then your own girlfriend. Not once did you actually ask me if I would like to come and unlike you I don't have the Oxford fixture list enscribed into my head so i dont know when they play or dont play. If it was a weekday i wouln't give a shit but when it inturrups a day off that we could spend together then it does bother me.
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Well if there was space there would be a ticket, but seeing as you hate them you can sort yourself out.
https://www.eticketing.co.uk/oxfordunited/default.aspx?utm_source=InitialRelease&utm_medium=OAFCTickets
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So where I thought I would at least get Saturday and monday with you this weekend I now get nothing! Apart from Sat night and Mon night if im lucky?!
I do hate them and when you turn around and tell me that i dont give you anywhere near the same buzz that Oxford give you when they win do you think you can really blame me?! The reason I want to come is so I get to see you, otherwise this bank holiday 4 or 6 hours will be lost on bloody Oxford AGAIN. You can get me the ticket, im sure one of the lads wont mind swapping places plus there will probably be plently of space near you anyway.
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Well that's not me it's you, I dont need you turning what was a nice conversation about the weekend into a horrible one. You told me 3 weeks ago you fucking hate Oxford and don't want to watch any more games again, so when you mentioned nothing about coming to the match whenever it cropped up in conversation I didn't really take that as a "I want to come". I even had a rant about the tickets to you last week - Wembley is only if we win (which we probably wont) these next 2 matches, so that was hypothetical. Where did you think I was getting tickets for on Monday for christs sake?
There's no point in you coming, it's not my fault though.
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I havent heard you once say that you are watching oxford on bank holiday monday, i know you have been going on about them being in Wembley and I assumed thats what you had got tickets for at some point.
Im gonna be sat like a billy f'ing no mates.
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This is the list I had when I bought my tickets, I've been telling you about it for weeks and never have you piped up and said you want to come.
Me
Dad
Julie
Clive
Ben
Adam
Ollie
Sam
Craig
Neil
= 8 adults
= 2 junior
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So how many people are sat with you then?
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I can get a ticket but its the row behind and about 50 seats away from us!!!
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Not once did i get invited or did you tell me when it was! Yes but i would like to sit with you guys i am not going to be a billy no mates
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No baby, not once did you say you wanted to come to the game!!!!
Do you want one yes or no, I will try and book it now.
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I thought you had 10 tickets, am i not having one of them?
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At Oxford . 3pm kick off. The first leg is away at Rushden (where we went on NY day only for it to be called off!) on Thursday night xx
Let me know cos I may struggle to get a seat near where we are but reckon I still can
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Where are they playing?
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Well Monday is the second leg of Oxford 's play off remember!!!
Did you want to come to that? I have bought tickets but could get you another one - even Dad and Julie are coming!
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I dont mind you going over at that time lovely, so long as i get sat night and monday with you xx
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Cinema on Sat night would be nice, I'm up for doing something chilled ahead of what is looking like a massive session on Sunday!!
Coop wants the lads round for 1pm on Sun but not sure I will go that early thoughx x
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