To get you in the mood for the end of season bash on Sunday.....

As the 2010 seasons comes to close it’s time to reflect on the high and lows of the second year in the life of the Coledale Whites and giant strides they’ve made.

After 6 weeks on the lash in South Africa, lambasting the French players revolt, heckling the English defence and learning how to play the Kiwi national anthem on a vuvuzela, sports writer of the decade Archie McSquinty came back to grass roots to catch the rest of the Whites season in the IAFA Masters div 2

We caught up with him to gather his thoughts.
“It’s been a cracker of a season for the boys in white, what a difference a goalkeeper makes eh?” said Archie, before providing some in depth analysis on each member of the squad.
Andrew ‘the gaffer’ Bowen: Manager & Golden boot contender Bagged a hat full of goals this year, mainly due to the hard work of his teammates. AB has been on devastating form in front of goal converting an amazing 5 of the 378 one on one, only the keeper to beat, odds on to score, couldn’t miss in a million years, ya Granny could finish it chances. With this record it’s nothing short of bamboozling that the lads keep picking him out with lovely through balls (although with Jon O’Neil as the second option for many games maybe it makes a lot of sense). Also got the right side of his odd shaped head on a cross against Fernhill for a headed goal...wonders will never cease!

Full of running and hassling every defence in the first half of the season, he tweaked a bollock in a pre-match chi-yoga stretching routine mid-season and has been hampered ever since, sporting a pair figure hugging ‘skins’ to keep his meat and two veg in place for the rest of the campaign and avoiding anything remotely strenuous both on and off the pitch.
‘Mr 21’ Les Coleman: Capt & Ginger SquirrelAnother mouthy season for the pommie captain, he tucked away the worst penalty of the century against Uni when his muffed effort took 4m7secs to reach the back of the net. Led by example all year, racking up another 217 shots off target and abusing his own team as much as the opposition. Residents in Scarborough knew the match was on every Sat afternoon when they heard “Just hold the f**king ball Steve!!” echoing along the escarpment.

‘Goalie’ Glenn Paull: Not a goalie anymore! Finally out of the sticks, GG has established himself as a stalwart of the back 4 this season with a string of solid performances. Playing in a more accustomed role his confidence has grown to the point where he can share his visionary ideas for team formation with insightful half-time contributions such as “the forwards need to stay forward” and “the midfielders should be in the middle”. Thank the lord for his clarity of thought and communication, who knows what would of happened if he hadn’t been there?

“Speedy” Glen Cahill: Defender, local historian....and part time striker?As we all know, Cahill knows everything and everyone in Coledale from 1826 to the present day.....we can now add to that a knowledge of football as Speedy has proved his positional awareness time after time this season, mainly cleaning up the hole in the back left when Rod gets board and goes for a wonder up front. Still no goals for the fastest O35 in Coledale but he did have a crack as a striker this time round and we could see more of him up there next season......when we’re short!

‘Hand Ball’ Dave Fildes: Coledale’s very own ‘Carlos Puyol’ and E-Bay championHaving topped the own goals and penalties conceded rankings by a country mile last season Handball was a firm favourite with any opposing attack last season, but his reputation has been turnaround this season with a string of dominant displays in a solid looking White’s back 4. His crowning glory was a scoring at the right end of the park for the first time, a bullet header in the away win against Jamberoo which almost broke his nose and left him slightly concussed. Missed the start the season with a run to Cowra following an amazing ‘e-bay win’, Handball has singled handed kept the player’s lounge bar open with a string of 8 can post match performances on ‘the hill’.
Jon “buns of steel” O’Neil – He’s a defender, not a striker!

Having been mistaken for James Bond several times ‘Jono’ decided it was time see if could shot as well as well as 007 and his chance finally came midway through the season. Actually several chances came....and went. Another 15 chances came in the following game....and went. Having confirmed for sure that he couldn’t hit a cows arse with a banjo, Jono slipped back into defence where his buns of steel and James Bond like looks made bugger all difference. Saved the best til last when he produced 3 cases of Corona on the last game of the season cementing his place in the squad for next term.‘Quiet’ Alan Oliver: Defender and spoon makerWon a spoon making contract in Victoria in the summer and missed most of this season as a result but still managed to maintain his athletic physique due to his strict training regime.

Kirk ‘the nearly man’ Seddon: Slowest winger in the world
Bounced back from a hernia sustained in a 15 minute drum solo last season to become a regular out wide for the whites this year. Would of made double figures on the goal chart this time round but a string of guilt-edged chances seemed to fall to his club-foot and each went begging. Finally got on the score sheet in the 4-1 romp at Azzuri when he ‘arsed’ the ball over the line.

Asked if it was intentional Seddon replied shouting “Ya what?, eh? I’m playing overing here I think, I dunno, I chase the ball don’t I?”


Trevor “Old Man” Deeming – Defender and tall blokeSaw much less of Trev this year but based on what we did see, he’s still very old and very tall.


Doug ‘hard man’ Hamill: Born-again defender and wrestler
Continued where he left off last season, mixing NRL, AFL and WWF with a hint of football for good measure. Doug found his calling at left back this year and should be in with a shout for player of the season. Collected the first red card in whites history against Shell City when, like Barry Hall so many times before him, he did nothing! No goals this year but did manage to steal the shirt off the back of the Bally left-winger during a spot of mud wrestling.


Keith “the student” McIntosh – Midfield dynamo and part-time Phil Lally impersonator

Snapped up in the pre-season transfer market Keith brought extra bite to the midfield and bagged a couple of cracking goals. His calm style was never ruffled by wild tackles and he used his calming influence to good effect keeping Kirk and Dennis out of the papers following a Mad Monday election party fracas. Several teams have been linked to Keith following his outstanding season but the lure of a new contract offer including a pre-paid mobile phone and 2 head bands has secured his services for another season at least.
‘Laidback’ Phil Lally: He can play anywhere!
Having discovered he’s actually right footed, Phil was deployed in every position possible this year, including on drums and Phil repaid the faith in his ability with 4 cracking goals. Had an image copyright spat with new signing Keith midway through the season which he won on a technicality resulting in Keith having to get a haircut.

Andres “Scarface” Tamayo-Uribe: Midfielder and ‘dentist’Following a tough preseason training regime Andres increased his match fitness markedly and can now cover the ground from box to box in under 2 minutes. His South American flare lit up several seconds during the season and he confirmed yet again he’s nothing like Maradona or Messi after contributing zero goals from midfield.

A constant source of wisdom, he explained to the team early on that “you can dress a monkey in silk, but at the end of the day, it is still a monkey” genius!Michael ‘slugger’ Charles: Midfielder and reformed hard manFollowing the ultimate fighting sessions during last season many feared for Charles’ ability to stay on the pitch this year, but a summer stint at anger management has served him well. Made the right side his own this season and even turned in some performances as an attacking fullback...whatever that is?

No goals this year but a glorious moment of skill in the home game against Uni, when after beating 2 men on the wing, he cut inside, swung in a Beckham like cross to the far post and shouted “Have a look at that, from my left foot!!” It’s the small victories that stay with us longest!

‘The Ponytailed Wonder’ Alex Kocatekin: Midfielder and Somali pirate hostageAfter a great preseason Alex took to the seas with a promise of being around much more than last season. We’ve never seen him again. “Little” Steve Higson: The everywhere manPlaying wherever he feels like, Steve has made the 60 yard snapshot his own this year and his 483 attempts on goal give him stats that would be envy of any Grid Iron quarterback. Selectively deaf on the pitch, Steve’s ability to miss everyone’s shouts for his attention have made him an icon in the service industry with waiters all over the world wanting to know how he does it.

Valiantly played through the pain barrier in the Mako’s away gain with a broken toe, cracked rib and the flu, he still managed a 45 yard punt at goal and kept something in the tank for end of the game when a lightening burst of pace secured him the front seat on the way home.
“Big” Steve Bynon: St George tragicAlan Shearer but without the goals, Steve leads the line tirelessly. Actually started the season with 2 cracking goals, which made a nice change. Realised a lifelong ambition this season seeing St George win the Grand Final and saved his best performance for the end of season drinks when he eat a flower and was last seen asking empty cars in the bowlo car park if they were a taxi.

Andrew “Hucky” Huckstepp: Mr consistencyPicking up where he left off last season ‘the Huckster’ missed every chance that came his way. Pushed into the back for ‘a change’ midway through the season he amazingly managed to convince the gaffer he was worth another stint upfront and the Whites are now looking into the possibility of getting his baron patch in front of goal in the Guinness Book of Records.

Stood up too quick in a pre-match warm up at Bally and put himself out for the rest of the season, Hucky has spent the last 3 months playing FIFA 2010 on the Wii in a bid get a shot on target next season.


Rod “the body” Higgins – Sweeper and professional blogger

Another new addition to the squad, Rod’s organisation at the back has been much welcomed.....mainly because the rest of the defenders didn’t actually know the rules before he turned up. Rod gave Alan a run for his money in the best physique competition this year after he went on a boot camp training course in Thailand midway through the season. The smallest centre back in the world, Rod dominates the back line without winning a single header, something that baffles many pundits.

A lively contributor to half-time talks, we all need to remember just one thing.....”it’s simple guys!”


Dennis “The Bear” Felgate – Keeper and champion drinker

Making the switch from Ice Hockey to Football should of been a challenge for the big man, but once he realised the goals were 5 times the size it was all good. Dennis has saved penalties, smothered one-on-ones and even caught crosses. As the season wore on Dennis got better and bigger, mainly because of the armour he started to wear. By the end of the year Dennis was arriving to games a full 45 minutes before everyone else so he had time to tape up and pad up before he could warm up. Finished the season with high expectations of a Hollywood style Mad Monday session and arrived at the Bowlo looking like Don Johnson’s Dad. Once he realised the team bus to Sydney’s glitzy bars wasn’t coming he got stuck into a amazing 23 beers and 7 radishes before moving on to the infamous Election Party, however all charges have been dropped and The Bear is clear to play next season

John Maccagnan – Striker & Slugger’s Bro

Snapped up in a pre-season transfer frenzy, John pulled a muscle tying his bootlace in game 1 and was out for 4 months. Came back for 3 minutes in mid-season before snapping a hamstring attempting a back-heel, John finally saw the benefits of pre-match warm-up. High hopes of him playing more than 3 games next year.

Whites 0 Fernhill 2

Coledale White:
Shots on goal - 15. Goals - 0.
Fernhill:
Shots on goal - 0. Goals - 2.

End of story.

We didnt get the 10 wins for the season we were after, but so be it. We had fun and hopefully everyone will be back for a run around again next season.

Next season: UPDATED

Hi all
Below is a notification from the IAFA on next year's competitions. Over the next few weeks I want to hear your views on next season. In the first instance I'm asking anyone certain they don't want to play next season to email me directly at tonyharper@bigpond.com
My feeling is that the O40s will not be less cometitive than )35 div 2. I would expect some very strong teams to prioritse that competition.
I'm happy to take questions on Saturday between the games at Coledale. Meanwhile, we'll put on a BBQ and sell drinks again on Saturday so please help out and support this. If it's a nice day it could be a good one for the families again.
Cheers
TH10

UPDATE: I have spoken to two committee members who suggest several M1 teams are applying to be in O40s. They are saying that they expect o40s and o35s div one to be similar standard. A o35s M2 will be formed as well if enough teams enter.

Masters Comp 2011
After receiving and evaluating all the expressions of interest for an over 45’s comp it was decided that there wouldn’t be enough teams to fill a division.There was however enough interest for an over 40’s division.The over 40’s division will run for 2 years and will then become an over 45’s division in 2013.Depending on the amount of nominations there will also be 1 or 2 divisions of over 35’s.
3. Nominations for 2011
Nominations for 2011’s comp will open on Monday the 23rd of August and close on the 1st of November.You can still nominate after this date but you will go to the waiting list for are any vacancies.

Easy Come, Easy Go.....

The Whites played 90 minutes of good football over the doubleheader weekend, the second half against Azzuri and the first half yesterday against Bally. The 4-1 win on saturday had us brimming with confidence for our match against the second placed Crows.
Goals from Eco-warrior, who finally scored from a long range speccy after trying all year and Sick Note with a fine "backer" from a metre out gave the Whites a 2-0 lead at half time. Phil and AB then kept up the race for the golden boot with one each to give us a 4-0 lead, with Azzuri getting a consolation with a fine 25 metre free kick going over the ungloved hand of Dennis.
Azzuri didnt have their hearts in it after halftime, with 2 blokes leaving and another limping off with a hamstring injury. Im suprised any of them showed up for yesterdays match against the Maroons.
We started like a house on fire against Bally. Would the result have been different if my shot in the 10th minute gone in rather than hitting the post? Who knows. We had the better of the first half, the midfield playing out of their skins, tackling anything that moved. Then in the 44th minute, Mr NSL pulls out his party trick of blasting the ball into the back of an opposition player in the box and screaming his head off for a penalty. Mr "I'm easily influenced" Referee duly obliges and its 1-0 at halftime, although Dennis nearly saved the penalty.
Thats it, no comment on the second half.
Our last match of the season next week, at home to Fenhill 1pm. Talk yesterday of cheering on the maroons (with maybe a quiet beer or two) then beers, banter and a bit of tucker at the S/W Bowlo should make our final game quite enjoyable.

Saturday and Sunday

Hi all

Reminder Saturday's Maroons game is NOT at Judy Masters as per the draw, it is at Towradgi Oval, where Fernhill play


Re Sunday...

From the association:

Hi Guys
Your Rd 19 Washed out games to be played on Sunday the 15th of August have been moved from St James Park Coledale to Guest Park Fairy Meadow.
St James is unavailable due to juniors using it.Same times apply.
M2 Coledale Maroon v South Coast Azzurri at 1pm
M2 Coledale White v Balgownie Crows at 3pm
Regards
Danny Gades
Secretary


Meanwhile, the Maroons game on Saturday next week has changed as well from Judy Masters to Towradgi (where we played Fernhill)
..

Fantasy League reminder

Fantasy EPL guru Gary H has set up a league for us to join. If you had a team last season it should be straight for3ward to get activated again. If you are new it's fun and as easy or hard to maintain as you please.
Details are


If you aren't already playing the game then you can register at http://fantasy.premierleague.com

Once you have logged in and entered your team, click on the 'Leagues'

link you can find on the right of the page. Now enter the code

864-17073 to join the Coledale Waves league.

Now you've done that also join up to the footballplus league as well

the code for this is

87048-27576


There is also a head to head league run by Fergus, he will repost the code in the shoutbox with any luck

Maroons 1, IFS 1

Dear Pete
Get Well Soon,
Regards TH10

Someone else might be better placed to write this report. My eyesight isn't what it used to be and I swear I saw Ant rise six feet off the ground and smash a bicycle kick just wide in the second half.

I'm sure I saw an IFS player wearing number seven try to take Gary's leg off at the thigh but escape without a card. I'm sure I got one a few weeks back for saying a rude word. Crazy game.

I didn't enjoy waching a miss hit loop over my head and under the bar. Caught out of position - that would never have happened to Pete. Now I understand why he spends 90 minutes rooted to his goal line.

I have no idea how we scored. It looked to me as if their keeper set the ball in the air liked a volleyball player and then spiked it forcefully into his own net. Rory claimed it. But then he claimed I should have run out and grabbed every ball anywhere near the 18 yard box. Every time I tried this it ended with IFS lobbing just wide of the net. He also claimed every goal kick should have gone to him. Likes a chat that Rory!

I'm not sure I flapped that much. Maybe once. And it can't have been as funny as Paul E telling IFS 7 that he was the most hated man in the league. "Mate, everyone hates you!". Hilarious.

Anything to add?

Whites 1 Figgy 1

Some things you are assured of at every match of the Whites 2010 season.

• Not many goals will be scored.
• Sicknote Seddon will be the last to sign the teamsheet.
• Dennis will pull off at least 3 miraculous saves.
• If any player is cautioned, odds on its Dougie.
• Eco-warrior will mix the sublime with the unfathomable.
• Andres will perform minimum 5 "dummy kicks".
• Lost Keys O'Neil if starting up front will end up in the backs.
• Goalie Glenn will hobble off halfway through the first half with a calf injury.
• Laid Back Phil Lally will be close to man of the match.
• AB will blow at least one golden opportunity to score with only the goalie to beat.
• Keith spends the whole afternoon with a grin from ear to ear, enjoying himself no end.

All these happened on saturday. Plus:

• Slugger may have become the first player in Whites history to become an attacking fullback. Others said he was just out of position. Jury still out.
• Mr 21 scored the first legitimate Whites goal with the head. It looked like the ball actually went where it was supposed to.
• Handball celebrated his 44th (not 54th as I thought) birthday with another inelligible display in central defence and 8 tooheys new.
• Rocket Rod confirmed he will be back again next year, fitter and meaner than ever. Once a White, always a White.

Oh yeah the score was 1 all.

Makeup game and Maroons Sat venue change next week, info

From the association:

Hi Guys
Your Rd 19 Washed out games to be played on Sunday the 15th of August have been moved from St James Park Coledale to Guest Park Fairy Meadow.
St James is unavailable due to juniors using it.Same times apply.
M2 Coledale Maroon v South Coast Azzurri at 1pm
M2 Coledale White v Balgownie Crows at 3pm
Regards
Danny Gades
Secretary

Meanwhile, the Maroons game on Saturday next week has changed as well from Judy Masters to Towradgi (where we played Fernhill)
..

Double Trouble

Winter rain and double headers: God's way of telling you you're getting too old for football.

This just in from the IAFA.

Hi All
1. After much discussion it was decided that Rd 19 will be played on Sunday 15th August.We thought about the spare weekend at end of comp but if we get another washout we will would have trouble getting games played.If any clubs want to organize games before this(midweek or this Sunday) they can as long as both teams agree and they let me know so i can organize a referee. Could all HOME teams make sure there grounds are available on Sun 15th.

2. In the last 2-3 weeks there have been reports of teams playing unregistered players which are now under investigation.Any teams caught doing this will lose points and could have further punishment dished out to them(fines and/or expulsion from comp).

I'm checking the avilability of the ground.

GAMES ARE OFF

Hi all

Unfortunately tomorrow's matches have been postponed because of the waterlogged home pitch.  The games will either be replayed as a double header in two weeks or - if all matches are called off - after the final round of the season on the IAFA's spare weekend. Will keep you posted but please pass it on.


T

If we score a goal on Saturday, can we do this? Please

Coledale Waves Football Club Over 35's Special Offer: LineBreak Compression Sportswear: 40% discount

Hi all
Courtesy of Graeme Phillo, we have a special deal on high quality compression gear for our Masters teams.

Whether at training or on game day, compression garments are an ideal complement to your kit, especially for players closer to the end of their career than the beginning.

For senior players, the risk of soft tissue injury increases with each year but that needn't be a factor that limits your effectiveness or longevity in the sport. Similarly, performance and recovery aren't helped by age but compression sportswear has been developed to compensate for the negative affects of years on the park.


This is how.

In training, recovery tights improve circulation to your legs which enable you to perform for longer at higher intensity and to recover faster afterwards. They also reduce your risk of injury by keeping your legs warm and supported. On game day, a combination of compression shorts and CalfGuards keep the major muscle groups covered and working to their full potential, especially toward the end of the game when fatigue is an issue. LineBreak undershirts help maintain your body temperature in hot and cold conditions by drawing and dispersing sweat to facilitate evaporation which creates a cooling effect in the heat and a dry warm effect in the cold.

Through the club, LineBreak have agreed to offer members a special 40% discount for a short time. To illustrate the saving, a 40% discount on their tights reduces the price from $120rrp to $72. Compare this to some comparable brands at $140+ and it's a very attractive offer.



To take advantage of this substantial saving, visit http://www.shop-linebreak.com.au/ and at checkout use the exclusive discount code CWSCDC40 in the d"discount" window to save a bundle. To learn more about LineBreak's gear, visit http://www.linebreak.com.au/ or to read what others say about dealing with LineBreak Click here http://www.shop-linebreak.com.au/page/comments.html - This offer ends on 30/9/10 so don't let the opportunity pass you by.

Fernhill 3, Maroons 4

Some games should come with backing music. Perhaps the Benny Hill theme would have been appropriate here. The game reminded me of a few Sunday morning matches, where the goals start flying in before anyone is really awake.
Two-nil up inside five minutes: Ant met a wonderful Dave C cross from the left with an unstoppable header, and then Fergus held off a defender to run away and poke past the advancing keeper. The goals  the obvious warning from the sideline that we had made a similar start against Uni and wound up losing, but there was no getting over the light-hearted air in a game between two teams out of finals contention.
So it was that Shane brought down their forward - the second penalty he has conceded in the same box in two years. He had no complaint and Pete was beaten when he dived out the way of a straight shot. Minutes later it was 2-2 as a defender missed his kick and they ran through to equalise. Less than 15 minutes gone and our subs came on with four goals already banged in.
As half time approached we won a corner on the left. The bloke running the subs tried to drag Tom off and bring on corner whiz Dave C only Dave wasn't listening and the change never got made. Instead a short corner was played to Tom who resisted a step over and instead curled a beauty off the outside of his left foot into the goal from the inside of the post.
We had barely stopped celebrating when they scored at the other end, direct from a freekick after a poor handball decision. We had another clear handball waved away at the other end as Paul's header was goalbound, and the ref waved away a couple more shouts for freekicks. Th10 was yellow carded for losing the plot in foul mouthed fashion (sorry, fans) and we went to the break full of frustration.
The second half was a dominant display and we should really have fashioned more out of it than the single winning goal. Ian S got his first in the Coledale colours, driving home after their keeper spilled another Dave C corner curler. We should have added a few more, Paul coming closest when his header from another corner smashed the post at speed and it might have cost us but for a neat save from Pete right at the death from a worrying freekick just outside the box.
Enjoyable game against some decent blokes, with an interesting postscript courtesy of Graeme P.
A year ago we played the same opposition while riding high on top of the ladder. "These guys are shit, they shouldn't be leading the comp", or words to that effect said one. GP reports that the same guy told him this week: "You guys are good, why are you so low on the table?" Quite.

Whites 2 Jamberoo 1

Well, I feel utterly redundant. With no "recognised" strikers available today to join up front the new goal scoring wonder that is Laid Back Phil Lally, we threw caution to the wind and started with local historian and jono lost keys as Phils rotating partners. Jono was banished to the backs after 20 minutes, but Glen Cahill after a slow start produced a fine strong running display to suggest his inclusion upfront may not be a one-off.
We thoroughly deserved this win. With 14 available, the Whites started well for a change and had a great chance to open the scoring when slugger put through a cross that went untouched in front of all across the goal. Against the run of play Jamberoo sprung the offside trap (yeah right) and scored from a metre out header. Then, the sight I thought I would never see. From an Andres corner, Dave "Puyol" Handball Fildes flies in from the right, the ball smacks him in the face, bounces off his knee, off the goalies arm and into the net. The celebration was madness. Thank god he kept his shirt on. Just before this a fine one hand save had denied eco-warrior from close range. 1 all at the break.
With astute tactics passed on from gaffer at halftime, mainly "lets start the second half with the same 11 as the first half", the boys trundled back out again. The jamberoo goalie seemed to think he was a sweeper and spent most of the match on the 30 metre line. It wouldnt have mattered where he was standing he wouldnt have stopped Phil's winning goal. Glen C's chased a long ball deep into the left corner, then Sick note Seddon and himself done some nice lead up till the ball was passed to Phil just outside the box. He creamed it, goalie didnt moved an inch, ball screams inside the left hand post. Bloody hell we are ahead.
20 minutes to go. We change to a 5-4-1 to protect our lead, and pretty much it works. Jamberoo hit the post from a long range speccy, and Dennis gets floored again, but we hold out. Congrats boys, a fine effort. Keith played well, as did Dougie and big Al, and the nearly sextagenrians had solid games. AB had his best match in a month, running the subs.
IFS next week, probably another 1-1 draw.

Coledale Waves + footballplus fantasy leagues

Fantasy EPL (and World Cup) guru Gary H has set up a league for us to join. If you had a team last season it should be straight for3ward to get activated again. If you are new it's fun and as easy or hard to maintain as you please.
Details are


If you aren't already playing the game then you can register at http://fantasy.premierleague.com/


Once you have logged in and entered your team, click on the 'Leagues'

link you can find on the right of the page. Now enter the code

864-17073 to join the private league.

Now you've done that also join up to the footballplus league as well

the code for this is

87048-27576

Training issue

Hi guys
In the past couple of weeks we've had very poor turnout to training. I'm not complaining, I've only been at one of the past 5 myself. But it does cost us up to $40 per night to train there, which hardly seems worth it if we are getting eight out of 44 guys along.
I'd like your feedback in the shoutbox on the following.
I propose that we

a. cancel official training via council for the rest of the season. We still pay the lighting charges but we have a social kickaround instead of informal training. That means if anyone gets injured at training you are not covered by club insurance etc.

b. We wind down training altogether and save on the lighting from here as well, and just start again on Sunday mornings as the social kickaround when the season is over.

c. We keep going and hope that we start getting more along.

Again, this is not a whinge at people not training. Injuries and other commitments hit us all.

Cheers
Tony

Uni 4, Maroons 3

It's probably a fair sign that our season isn't going to plan when we spend the last 20 minutes desperately seeking an equaliser against Uni. To be honest, we have often struggled against them away and they unveiled a new forward yesterday who caused us all sorts of trouble. He scored a hattrick through sheer pace and was about to tap in a fourth before Graeme P turned it into his own net. Last year we won this game 5-4, only thanks to John B's late wonder strike.
We went a head on four minutes when Dave Mac charged through and slotted the opening goal. Uni were level almost immediately as an uneven playing surface, the speedy forward and the absence of our leading defender Dave D combined to hurt us.
Soon we were 2-1 up as Jon's first time lob beat their keeper. Uni went up our half twice more in the half and scored both times. Dave Mac hit the post on another runaway and we felt we had enough to score again in the second term.
As we threw people forward and blazed over the bar a few times too many, we were again carved at the back, Pete having to make two good saves, and Kev recovering brilliantly once to keep the margin one.
At 3-2 we should have had a penalty, as Jon played in a cross  and the very annoying defender called Monty reached his arm out and batted it away with his bicep. No joy however, and on their next breakaway Uni went 4-2 ahead.
Shakey scored our third with 12 minutes to go and Ian, Fergus and TH10 all put attempts over the bar as time ran out, two minutes before it should have by our watch. The ref jogged off to get his cigarette, as our season went up in smoke.

Makos 2 Whites 1

god dammit our 7th loss by a single, solitary goal. This time the winner came in the 80th minute for the Makos courtesy of a Giovanni von Bronkhurst style 30 metre top left hand corner cracker. Could only stand there and applaud.
We started with 12, but slugger bro lasted 5 minutes before limping off with a hamstring injury and played no further part. Makos had no subs either, so by the end of the match all players were on a first name basis. The Whites decided to start with a 3-5-2 formation, which was abandoned after 15 minutes due to no-one knowing where they should be. The Makos opened the scoring midway through the first half with an unmarked tap in on the left, but the Whites responded almost immediately when Laid Back Phil Lally, playing up front powered home an immaculate through ball from an unknown source. Dennis saved a highly dubious penalty (another handball Dave special), we should have been awarded a penalty for the same offence 2 minutes later at the other end, and so the first half ended at 1-1.
Halftime saw the Whites look like a casualty ward. Going with slugger bro's hammy, Eco-warrior was battling a foot injury, the lost A still had the lurgy and looked buggered and AB's groin had flared up again. Back on we hobbled. The Makos kick-off was straight out of the under 6's and we nearly scored through a Keith/AB one-two. The rest of the half was open free flowing football, both teams plenty of corners, chances, long range shots, one eventually went in, just not for us. Special mention to goalie Glenn, everyones player of the match. Everyone played their hearts out, and we didnt get the rub of the green with any refereeing decisions, common on trips down south.
Time is running out if we want to reach our goal of 10 wins for the season. Next week the road trip to Jamberoo.

Over 45s

The IAFA has called for expressions of interest for an over 45s team. Could those players who are over 45 let me me know their thoughts on the matter please? My feeling is that an over 40s might work for us but they are unlikely to go this way. The good news seems to be that they will persist with two O35s competitions next season in addition to the O45s, and perhaps add a further open grade.
The IAFA is getting their act together early because of Illawarra Football unification - a process expected to be complete in October.
While we were given until December to nominate teams last year they have moved this forward to October. So: while it's going to be too early for some, if you know for sure that you won't be back next season please drop me an email or let me know when you see me next.
Cheers TH10

Don't mention the war . . .

The Maroons retained the Coledale Cup and extended their unbeaten derby streak to four matches with a 2-1 victory - 6-4 on aggregate - over the Whites at St James Park on Saturday.
A minute silence was held in honour of Ian's wife Kat and a decent turnout helped us raise money for the McGrath Foundation.
Goals in each half to the Whites' favourite Maroon, Fergus, and Shakey put the team ahead 2-0. Phil Lally clipped home a cross from AB after he ghosted through the defence down the left with about 10 minutes to play but the Maroons did enough to see out the match.
The Maroons were at full strength, except for Dean, GD and Dave Mac, and were boosted by the late arrival of Jon S, who makde a significant contribution in the second term.
The opening goal came from a Paul E cross which eluded a pack of players attempting to get their head on it, and fell to unmarked Fergus at the back post. He took his time to control and shoot past Dennis.
The second goal came soon after the break and should be used as a template by the Maroons. Gary H did well to put the ball to Jon down the right and he sent Fergus, close to if not offside, away down the wing.  His strong cross was met with force by Shakey and Dennis had no chance from close range.
Ant had the ball in the net but was flagged offside and Dave C hit the post with a first time snapshot but in the end, the Maroons did enough, despite their late concession.
 

Doesn't matter how bad we are tomorrow, we won't be this bad

Blondes and the Beautiful game

A blonde gets a job as a teacher.

She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun kicking a ball.

She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.

"You ok?" she asks.

"Yes" he replies.

"You can go and play with the other kids you know?" she says.

"It's best I stay here" he responds.

''Why?' says the blonde.

The boy says:

'Because I'm the goalie'

Coledale Cup Round 2

And on to more important footballing matters than the World Cup.
Next week sees the second leg of the Coledale Cup, with the Maroons miraculously holding a slender 4-3 lead. Do away goals count double? If so, a 1-0 victory for the Whites will be enough to claw the cup from the grasp of the Maroons.

Although the game is officially scheduled for 3pm, I believe it was agreed we'd switch it to 1pm?

Both sides go into the match on the back of some form, albeit atrocious form. Whilst the Whites have a slender goal difference advantage over the last three games, amazingly the Maroons have better (read less poor) form over the last six games.

The Whites need a win to keep their ever increasingly slender hopes of a top 4 finish alive - however according to 'when I'm away' they're going to be missing Alex Kocatekin, Andrew Huckstepp, Doug Hamill, Glen Cahill and Glenn Paull, whilst the Maroons only have Graeme Phillipson absent. So the plan is to put all the remaining 20 players on the pitch at the same time. (The reality is that the Maroons will probably have 8 missing). Of the 11 that do take the pitch it has to be hoped that they'll do less of a headless chicken impersonation than England this morning.
The only consolation of England's demise? Fergus doesn't win the sweepstake!

is it that obvious I'm bored at work?

City 1 Maroons 0

Pete saved a penalty amongst a host of other shots. We had a couple of chances. Tight game.

---------------

I'm English. I play better at the back than bloody Cole, Terry, Upson and Johnson.

I think England are the only team the Maroons would beat with ease. Bye Bye Fabio

Hogs 1 Whites 0

Our fourth 1-0 loss of the season. We deserved something out of all of them, but thats football.
With only 12 players available due to injury,suspension, overseas holidays and moving house, this was a huge effort, made all the more heroic after goalie glen succumbed to his troublesome calf after 10 minutes. Most of us played 90 mins, including our two close enough to 60 year olds at left and right back. The hogs had control of the match, especially with 4 subs, so we defended our best and tried to counter attack. We held out for 75 minutes before they bumbled in a scrappy goal. We had maybe 4 or 5 chances. Jon "lost keys" O'Neil, playing up front found space in the first half for a crack, Andres tried a few long rangers that werent bad. The second half saw eco-warrior hit the bar with a thunderous free kick from 25 metres out and AB displayed some nice touches to beat 2 defenders and hammer just over the bar after chasing an Andres through ball.
The defence was outstanding. Handball got the refs player of the match (probably because they looked alike), Rocket Rod was a colosuss at the back. The midfield of Slugger, Laid Back Phil Lally, Eco-warrior and Scarface had nothing left in the tank at the end. A match played in the right spirit, was quite enjoyable except for the fact we lost.

Hogs 0 Maroons 1 and Maroons 0 Makos 2

Two reports in one - firstly cos I'm not well, secondly cos I didn't see all 90 minutes of either game, thirdly cos I'm lazy, fourthly cos someone (who's too chicken to put his name to his whinge bagging me out for not writing a report and fifthly cos I'm rather to single out anyone!

So..on to the brief reports. If England and Australia (v Germany) had put in half the effort the boys in Maroon put into their two games, they' have been getting much better results.

The Hogs match is always a bit of a grudge game, but like the first match at home, seemed to be played in a pretty good spirit. With the wind in our favour, Dave C's corer flew straight into the net, but from then on it was hardly backs to the wall stuff. As in the game against the Azzurri the week before, passes were being played mostly to feet, Pete was hardly troubled in goal and from the 45 minutes I saw, I don't think the Hogs could have been too upset by the scoreline.

For the makos match I arrived just in time to see Pete make a blistering save, but at that stage we were already 1-0 down. What i did see was the ball being predominantly in the makos half, although admittedly shots were few and far between. As the match progressed and we through everyone forward, makos caught us with a swift break in virtua;;y the last minute. 2-0 flattered them but a few more performances like that will see us very soon on the whites coattails.

Sorry for the brevity of the report, feel free to flesh it out in the comments section.

Kev

Whites 2 Uni 1

On a sparkling winters afternoon, it was good to return to familiar territory after the 12 players vs 10 fiasco at Oak Flats on saturday. St James Park is unfortunately looking more like Coledale cow paddock at the moment, taking me back to my junior playng days in Kempsey where it was quite common to actually have cows on the paddock.
The match, won courtesy of a Les Coleman double inside 15 minutes, was another example of the Whites making the easy look excruiatingly hard. The first of Mr 21's goals was a sumptuous penalty that took 3 bounces to cross the line and was hit with such force the goalie nearly got to it after diving the wrong way first. This occurred in the first 3 minutes of play after the Uni defender thought he was playing for Serbia. The second was a miss-kicked pass that found the goalie off his line who couldnt back pedal enough.
From there on it looked like the Whites were having a competition to see who could come up with the worst (or best?) miss. Steve B and Jon M missed sitters, AB had his usual 5 chances and didnt bury any, all the midfielders tried their luck, Les could have had a hat trick when he air swung unmarked at a corner from 2 metres. Uni pulled one back through a superbly taken free kick from their 47 year old 5'3'' 14 stone right back. Another day at the office.

Other highlights:

• Dennis shows up with a hot water bottle for his leg, but more probably to keep warm. This might start a trend.
• "Sicknote" Seddon was seen drinking what looked suspiciously like Midori from his water bottle. Whatever gets you through the game.
• Eco-warrior with a candidate for best non-goal of the year, a 30 metre bomb from the right touch line in the side net. Shame play was halted for Uni to make a sub.
• Maroon opinion seemed to be Doug had his best match of the year.
• Local Historian owns the worlds smallest drink bottle. Probably scotch in that one.
• Slugger ditched the glamorous tracky dacks brought by his mum for army fatigues. Bring back the shiny pants Mike.
• Jono nearly played with a "mini me" running behind him crying the whole time.
• the halftime entertainment of a skydiver landing on the pitch got the biggest cheer of the afternoon.
• the WAGS turned out in force, great to see such wonderful support. Kids everywhere, a real family atmosphere. Time to turn on the razzle dazzle for our supporters boys.

Off to the burg next weekend, scene of a 1-1 draw last year. Hopefully we can go one better.

Shell City 1 Whites 0

our third 1-0 loss this year. Enough to give you the sh*ts.
Shellharbour man of the match: the ref. I'll leave it at that.

Azzurri 2 Maroons 6

Azzurri ...the mere name conjures up images of past great world cup Italian teams, Rossi, Maldini, Zoff...of flair, suaveness, glory (and diving if you're of Australian ancestry).

So it was quite appropriate that we were scheduled to play the fabled Azzurri during the World Cup. The game was scheduled to be played at Guest park, but at late notice was moved to the San Siro* (Dapto version). Hundreds, nay thousands of fans were making their way to the ground, blocking the view of all but anyone driving a double decker bus. At least that was the excuse Ian stood by as he drove past both myself and Pete, parked by the side of the road, looking suitably lost.

The pitch was in fine condition, akin to the Juventus pitch at the Stadio Olimpico di Torino! OK, slight exaggeration, but it was a nice flat, wide pitch, nice little stand and surrounded by advertising hoardings. The hoardings weren't quite the electrical abominations that catch your eye on televison but nonetheless, it was all very professional.

And the Maroons rose to the occasion. Boosted by the return of Shakey we rapidly took a grip, Trevor firing in a lovely long range shot. Fortunately we were using a 4 year old, only partially inflated ball rather than a Jabulani, else it would still be soaring into space.

Ant then had a goalbound shot saved, but by a defenders hand rather than the goalkeepers. The Azzurri's stand in referee declined to send his own player off but did award the penalty. Fergus, still reeling at the use of hands in the penalty area, hammered the ball straight down the middle. The keeper dived left and it was 2-0.

Shortly after, a goal of sheer brilliance followed, pass after pass interchanged, opposition players dribbled past both on the inside and outside, a driven cross and Dave C flung himself vertically a good 5 feet before firmly planting a header into the net. So I was told anyway. From my vantage point at the back, it looked like a mishit cross lobbed into the box, missed everyone and bounced in off Dave's head. However, in keeping with the grand Azzurri theme, I'll go with the first description.

Half-Time 3-0. Knowing our previous record in the second half of games, we were confident, but still aware of past failings. Two minutes into the new half we were 4-0 up. Five minutes later it was 4-2! A goal from a corner, yet another unmarked player punishing us, followed by a breakaway goal and all our demons returned. We were still two goals to the good, but the attitude reeked of panic. It seemed more likely they would make it 4-3 than us wrap the game up.

However some desperate defending saw us through, and two late goals were the icing.
The World Cup it wasn't, but I suspect it was a darn sight more entertaining than watching South Korea humble Greece!

*useless piece of information, the San Siro's real name is Stadio Giuseppe Meazza.

Whites Mid Season Review

It is that time of year again. We analyse the highs, the lows, the good, the bad, the stars, the duds and preview the rest of the season in the Whites mid season review. As Im too lazy to do my own, I have completely plagiarised Tony’s from last year.

Overall
Obviously better than last year. Talk of the Whites being contenders for the flag this year after 4 wins in our first 6 games are pie in the sky. A few of us are still eternally grateful for every point we get, after the horrors of last year. Five wins, five losses and a draw, with three defeats by a single goal shows the Whites aren’t the pushovers of last season.

Best Win
The first is always the best. To beat Shell City, who gave us two footballing lessons last year, was particularly sweet. Our best game in football terms was versus Jamberoo. Slick passing, strong tackling that never let them into the game, two cracker goals, great match.

Lowest Point
Against Azzuri. The harder we tried the worse we got. Best just to forget about it.

One that got away
Hogs. For all the hype, they didn’t impress. Scrappy goal, should have at least been a draw.

The New Boys
All are fine additions and have fitted in nicely. Dennis has proved his transfer from hockey was worth the money, with the first 2 clean sheets in White history and a string of fine saves to keep us in many a game. Keith has added speed and skill to the midfield, anyway I think its him, I cant tell him apart from Phil on the field. A few nice goals in his first season as well. Rod has added composure to the backline and is a deadball specialist. He also knows all the stats of each opposition, handy for talking ourselves into believing we can win sometimes.

Best goal
Hmmm lets see, which one of mine.... I’ll let the fans chose. Mr 21’s two goals have been quality, and SteveB’s chip against the Maroons was a goodie (so I’m told, was looking somewhere else).

Best blast against the timber
SteveB vs Fernhill (both posts), Phil vs Jamberoo, Dougie vs Figtree, Eco-warrior vs cant remember.

Worst Miss
It has got to be Kirk vs Jamberoo. A metre out with no one in front and misses the ball completely. Honourable mentions AB vs IFS and Keith vs Azzuri.

Best Dive
Slugger vs Uni. Tripping over his feet, then the ball, just in the box without a hand laid on him. Goes down pleading for a penalty, not a Uni player within 5 meters. Lucky he didn’t get a card.

Best Tackle
Dougie’s on Maroon Trev. All ball.

Hoodoo Award
Mitty. Comes to watch the derby, leaves at halftime with us trailing 2-0. We win the second half but still lose. Thanks a bunch. No wonder we didn’t win a match last year.

Luckiest Win
Fernhill. When we rely on a header from the man with the head shaped like a 50 cent coin to win, the gods are definitely smiling on us.

Worst excuse for not playing
Handball and his line about having to go to Cowra to pick up a couch his wife “won” on e-bay. He was spotted by numerous people swanning around Thirroul at the seaside festival in his trademark funky little hat.

Best Fan
Maxie Charles. At every home game he plays in the lantana until materialising at halftime and at the end of the game to show he kicks the ball twice as hard as dad.

Best Linesman
Jose Phillipson. He correctly kept the flag down in the dying seconds to allow the winning goal to stand vs Shell City amid a torrent of abuse. Well done.

Most improved Old Boy
I may be biased as he spends most of his time on the left where I am, but Laid Back Phil Lally just gets better and better. Looks to be completely over the knee injury that stalled his season last year, he has have picked up a yard of pace, mixing precision passes with strong defending. Hardman Doug Hamill and Goalie Glenn are proving their worth with some fine games in defence.

Best lead up to a non-goal
Without a doubt Hucky’s marathon weaving odyssey at Towradgi. Well documented previously in Mr 21’s match report.

As you were
Glen Cahill (Local Historian). Still playing 80-90 minutes a game, still playing right back, still the quickest player in the team, still rarely makes a mistake. Still has the hip bone density of an 85 year old.

Best Referee
The young fella vs Azzuri. Made only one mistake that I can remember, and that was in the Maroons game before.

Best haircut
Keith recently turned up to the Balgownie match with a stylish bob that makes him look like one of the beatles. It probably cost him $50 but looks like Rachel put a bowl on his head and cut around it. At least I will be able to tell him apart from Phil and Handball now.

Best Quotes
“Aargghyylll grrrrummh gggffluuwww” Handball rallying his troops in the heat of battle. I have no idea what he says half the time.
“Why don’t you shut up mate” Andres in his best strine last weekend against Bally. The bally forward was actually abusing his own players.
“Stick it up your arse can head” Bally dude to Andres.

Wish he was here
Seems Alex has moved to Tassie to complete his ship captains ticket so will not be back this season. As Les commented, life cannot be that bad to make yourself move to Tasmania. We haven’t seen much of Trev and big Al yet either. Kirk has already played twice as many games as last year.

The rest of the season
A tough 6 weeks started against Bally with the Whites playing the top 5 plus the Maroons. This run will really sort us out. If we repeat our 5 wins from the first half in the second half of the season there will be some very happy boys at the end of the year.
Thoughts turn to player of the year. Will Dennis be the second goalie in a row to take the coveted prize? Will one of the new lads come through strong in the second half of the year? Will an old boy make enough of an impression to accumulate enough votes? Will a certain striker get to double figures and figure in the running? Will Alex be last year’s Mick Scanlan?

Whites 0 Bally 1

The change in starting time reduced the whites to 14 players, and with Hucky (knee) Dougie (leg) and AB (some think small heart muscle, but actually a groin niggle) picking up injuries during the match, the 11 who played the last 30 minutes did a damn fine job.
The Whites started like a house on fire, and could have easily been 2 up after 15 minutes. Then, like a switch had been turned from "Coledale play" to "Balgownie play", the game changed and we went to sleep for the rest of the first half. The ball rarely left our own half, and we spent the remaining 30 minutes defending. Bally scored from a free kick 25 metres out that went through the mass in the goal box untouched and in the bottom left corner. 1-0 at halftime, we were definitely still in this one.
Second half, role reversal. Bally started the strongest, with a few surges through the middle, Dennis again coming to the rescue. Then the Whites came to life for a period, AB with the best chance with the goalie coming off his line leaving a emtpy net, but the high bouncing chip drifted wide.
The rest of the half was a good old-fashioned arm wrestle. Dougie picked up a yellow fending off a rain of elbows and punches from the resident Bally psycho. Slugger offered Dougie some tips in self defence (from 50 metres away). We had chances to snatch a draw, just as Bally had opportunities to extend their lead.
So ends the first half of the season.

The sweep

Some serendipitous pairings

Diving TH10 gets Italy.
Pom Les gets to cheer for Diego.
Shane IS MR Australia
Tommmy the step over king gets Ronaldo
Kev has France...


Argentina

Les



Australia

Shane



Brazil

Keith



Cameroon

PaulE



Chile

Graeme D



Denmark

Jon Stanfield



England

Fergus



France

Kev



Germany

PaulE



Ghana

Ant



Greece

Dave Mc



Holland

Ian



Italy

Tony



Ivory Coast

Gary H



Mexico

Rod



Nigeria

Phil



Paraguay

Graeme P



Portgual

Tommy



Serbia

Graeme P



Slovenia

Gary H



South Africa

Fergus



South Korea

Jon O Neill



Spain

AB



Switzerland

Tony



Uruguay

AB



USA

Jon Stanfield













And the odds….

World Cup 2010 Sweepstake kit

Figtree 4, Maroons 1

Graeme Duncan scored a nice goal. It did get a bit of help from the keeper but it speared in at the near post. At that stage it was 2-1 and we did have a brief attack. What happens next doesn't really bear repeating (what goes on tour stays on tour and all that). I must say the anonymous Maroon who keeps talking retirement is starting to make more and more sense. We were a sore and sorry bunch and a lot of the joy we experienced last season seems to have gone.
Anyway, none of us could land a pass in the first period. They scored from a massive shove on our defender at a corner, and then probably the best goal I've seen in 4 years. A 35 metre screamer into the top corner that never looked like missing. So far out was he, I had time to turn to the defender I was next to and say: "Oh what a goal that is".
They played very well. Good short passing. We're rubbish at that - always have been. We've always been good at winning tackles through Paul, Shaly and Jon S and lumping balls into the channels for speedy wingers to bring down and send across. We were rubbish at that on Saturday as well.
How much did we miss Dave D in the 15 minutes he took after the start to tie up his boots?
Shane looked like he was in a cartoon, his legs pumping away in vain trying to rein in their fast striker. At one stage Shane's there grabbing the guy's shirt, slapping at his waist but the guy just sped on past.
Ant tried to play a 10m pass. It went 2m. Th10 had a simple 1-2 with Dave C down the left touchline. TH10 smashed it miles into touch. Abject.

Groundhog Day

Another game against IFS, another 1 all draw. Both teams are fairly similar, hard uncompromising backs, dogged tireless midfielders and forwards always on the lookout for any scraps coming their way. Post match feelings from both sides were a fair result.
I thought we were only going to start with 9 men, then Jono (must have lost his keys again) and Local Historian showed up to give us 11. Hucky started in the unfamiliar position of left back, Jono nearly ran on in his green jumper with shoelaces flapping in the wind, and unorganised as anything away we went. Another slow start from the whites saw IFS camped in our half for most of the first 20 minutes. Completely against the run of play came the classical Aussie Route One football goal. Dennis Grobelaar reefs a punt, Big Steve bounced it perfectly off the top of his head to go over the IFS defenders, AB wins the race and bangs it across the goalie from outside the box to cannon inside the right post. By this time Slugger and Eco-warrior had turned up to give us a couple of reserves, much appreciated by some.
As this arm wrestle went to halftime with the whites leading 1-0, we felt one more goal would kill off the opposition. Both teams, inbetween abusing each other, played some sparkling football. Dennis kept us ahead with a great 1 handed tip over. Then the pivotal play of the day. With Eco-warrior crudely brought down 15 metres out, Local Historian takes the kick. Bouncing around like a pinball machine, the ball lands in front of AB with only the goalie to beat straight in front 3 metres out, and he puts it over the bar. Next play the ball goes up the other end, IFS win a corner and a point blank unmarked header goes in. Doh!
Both teams had chances in the last 15 minutes. The lost A shot agonisingly over the bar after a nice run, laidback Phil Lally had a header off the last corner of the day just miss and Hucky tried to open his goal scoring account for the year with a savage blast that couldnt find its way through 10 IFS blokes.
A couple of special mentions. Hardman Hamill, Lost Keys, Local Historian and Laid Back Phil Lally all played most of the match, all having huge games. Mr 21 (described by IFS7 as "that orange haired scottish bloke") and "Scarface" Andres worked hard in the middle and Big Steve ran hard all day as ever.
Back to the field of dreams next week for Uni's visit. After this, the halfway point of the season, the renowned scribe Archie McSquinty may be cajoled out of semi-retirement to give his thoughts on the season so far....

Farewell ... John Brandman

John B, a co-founder of the team which eventually became the Waves Maroons, and captain in the first season, has been forced into early retirement following cartilage damage in a knee. An elegant and super fit midfielder, injury (and skiing) restricted his game time. He will be remembered most for a last minute winner in a 5-4 victory over Uni last season, smashing home from a tight angle. Oh, and for missing games when he suffered a back injury burying his beloved dog.
In honour of his service, we've dug out the interview he gave to Coastal Hogland website in the days when I had time to put together a more interesting blog.

Hello! Hello! The Coastal Hogs captain and resident muso opens up on Cat Empire, Bugs Bunny, Jennifer Hawkins and why he wants to be known as “Stud”.
Where I grew up Maroubra. Once a Coastal Hog always a CH.
My first soccer team Hakoah, earlier version of Sydney City, in Under 10s. Still trying to get it right.
My greatest soccer moment Grand final winning goal header in Engadine Eagles O35s. One of those where time slowed as perfect cross came my way and I had time to do crossword, bit of shopping etc on route to putting it away. Really should be allowed to happen more than once in life. Maybe this year . . .
WAG’s name Carol. Our 30th anniversary is coming up so that’s my excuse for being in Fiji in mid August, whilst others cement our place in finals.
KADs’ names Stuart (22). Sometimes painful child who makes occasional impressive guest appearance in goals for Coastal Hogs in training games. Accountant in Caringbah , but don’t hold that against him.
Jacqui (20). At Sydney Uni doing Liberal Studies. She was our excuse for visiting Montreal whilst she was on exchange last August.
Mitchell (15 ). Bass, drum and piano playing champ who will be the source of my early retirement fund when his band becomes famous. That’s my plan anyway.
Dog: Milly: Saved on route to pound. Cute and not capable of biting anything.
That embarrassing childhood nickname I don't want anyone to know was “Johnnies”- (yes plural). It just may have had something to do with being slightly more overweight than I am now. Should I hear the call again, I will once again examine the scales more closely.
The nickname I'd choose for myself Stud – if only for the mirth it would cause on the sidelines for those who know.
My job Engadine Music, a monster Carol and I gave birth to 28 years ago. Jury is out as to whether I’m running it or it’s running me.
My dream job Tour guide for small group (2) in exotic or erotic places I’ve yet to discover.
My favourite footy team Coastal Hogs. Because you’re just such nice guys.
My favourite (other) sport Snow Skiing – been doing that for 45 years and also still trying to get it right.
My favourite sportswoman Jennifer Hawkins. In any sport she’d like to play with me.
My favourite TV show Friends – All the ‘nice’ people remind me of the camaraderie of the Coastal Hogs.
Fave movie Monty Python’s Life of Brian. The mickey needed to be taken out of that subject.
Fave musician/band Zillions, for different reasons, but currently Cat Empire. A class act, with the most amazing live audience reaction. Catch them if you can at Enmore Theatre.
The song I like the most A piece called “New Images” from Artura Sandoval, an amazing trumpet player who escaped from Cuba and plays in octaves yet to be notated.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOyE_3uODFE
Instructions for my funeral include playing this, followed by “Always look at the bright side of Life” (from Life of Brian), especially the line “Life’s a piece of shit, when you look at it". Appropriate from the grave I thought. As the mourners leaves “Another One Bites The Dust” would say it all.
What I like to cook Thick, rare steak. Feed the man meat!
Last book I read Biography of Robert Kennedy. Can’t believe what that family got away with. In my next life . . . Quiet night in or big night out Depends on whether Cat Empire are playing, whether I’m in Havana ( there’s a story there ), or a shared bath is on offer.
Cheese or chocolate Neither. Ice cream.
Paris or Kylie Jennifer Hawkins – refer earlier comments.
If I was a TV character I'd be Bugs Bunny. Give me a carrot and I think I’ve worked out the sport I’d like to play with my favourite sportswoman.
If I was a fish I'd be Hooked.
My dream car is In somebody else’s driveway.
If I had $10 million I'd give it to My creditors.
The best beer is Secretly hidden inside a bottle of red wine. You’ll often see me sampling its hidden secrets.

I'd like to be reincarnated as A table cloth. Go on, ask.
What's Cristiano Ronaldo got, that I haven't got The $10 million I'd give it to my creditors.
Goalkeepers. Who needs 'em Coastal Hogs, Coastal Hogs, Coastal Hogs, Coastal Hogs, Coastal Hogs.
Tell us a joke Now that you’ve asked about “why a tablecloth ?”
It’s ’cause you get laid 3 times a day and pulled off after every meal.
Very revealing interview there, skip. Always thought you were a man of the cloth.

They make rubbish boots, but wonderful ads

Maroons 1, Balgownie 2

It was a combative and strong display against a team which has 8 wins and a draw with no losses for the season. With a former national league player sweeping at the back and another ex Wollongong Premier League pro up front, the Crows should realistically sweep through this league. To my knowledge the Maroons have only one player who has ever made money out of football - and unfortunately it's from writing about it.
We set out with a 4-5-1 formation and a plan to stifle the visitors for as long as possible before reassessing. In the shadow of halftime, they scored a cracking goal from nowhere and it's symptomatic of our latest luck that the ball skidded in from long range and off the inside of the post.
From 1-0 at the break we went 2-0 down midway through the half when Paul E was adjudged to have handled a shot which was struck hard but probably off target. The ball hit him shoulderish but rolled down his arm and new ref Henry pointed to the spot. The former Wolves player thumped in the penalty.
We got a lifeline 10 minutes from the end when Shaky's cut back was despatched into the top corner and then the rub of the green went against us twice in the final desperate surge. First a ball was kicked up into the arm of a Balgownie defender. The ref considered it but called play on. Then an excellent freekick from debutant Rory was headed against the cross bar. Once again it was a strong performance with Jon S, Rory and Shaky giving our midfield plenty of drive, but again it was rewarded with nothing.

Whites 0 Azzuri 2

yesterday felt like a return to the dark old days of 2009. The intensity wasnt there and we lost to a team that is a bit of an enigma. The Azzuri started the season slowly, struggling for numbers, but will present a tough task to all teams this year.
As in all Whties matches, both teams had plenty of scoring chances. The lost A had a header in each half either cleared of the line or miss the left post by millimetres. AB should have pulled the trigger on a dodgy Azzuri goal kick that he reached first but lost control with a heavy first touch. Down 1-0 at halftime, we were confident we could get something out of the match.
The second half was pretty much a carbon copy of the first. What ever we tried didnt seem to work, it was just one of those days. The Whites will go back to the drawing board (if anyone ever turns up to training) and prepare for IFS, being played in the salubrious setting of Warrawong next weekend.

This weekend

Ref Ian is unable to make it this week so we will have young Hugh in charge (he did a couple of games last year, gave about five penalties in each from memory so tread very carefully).

The upshot is we need linesmen for both games - that is two whites to come early for the maroons game and two maroons to stay around afterwards.

I'll also try to get the BBQ up and going again this week if it's a nice day.

Can the Maroons please put their names down in the when I'm away if they not going to play. We look to be very short again this week.

World Cup Fantasy League

Hi all
I have set up a World Cup Fantasy League competition via SBS World Game site.

Go to The SBS Fantasy League Game at www.theworldgame.com.au/fantasyleague and go to 'Register to Play'. They will send you an email with an account activation. Once you have inputted this you can use the ‘mini-league admin' option to join our own mini-league.


When prompted for details you will need to put in this.

League Name:
Coledale Raves
League password:
Waves


You can also go there by clicking the link saying Coledale Raves atop the table on the right...
Perhaps a special trophy or award can be up for grabs for the winner on preso night. Oh and if you need a good form guide I recommend Football+ in all good newsagents only 9.95...

Fernhill 0 - 1 Whites

The Whites arrived at the always windy Fernhill ground needing to get back to winning ways following a controversial derby defeat when they were robbed by some outrageous refereeing and blatant diving by a desperate opposition who should thank their lucky stars for a result they never deserved.....but let’s not dwell on the past.

As expected Fernhill rolled out a star studded line up with Billy Bunter up front, Punch (of ‘Chips’ fame) on the wing and Herman Munster in centre midfield. Former Portsmouth manager and world class alcoholic Jim Smith also made a cameo appearance in defence.

After some initial flirting the game soon settled down to a competition to see who could hit the woodwork the most. Fernhill looked like they might take a leading tally into halftime until Doug the Destroyer (like that one Noodles?) rattled the bar from about 50 yards and then AB sensationally hit both posts with the same strike. 0-0 at halftime.

In the second half (I never thought I’d write these words) the Whites class started to show as they kept possession for long periods. 15 mins in, after a 5 mins wonder by our ‘sweeper’, he found himself taking a corner and swung in a beauty to the back post where, leaping like the proverbial salmon, AB managed to get a flat side of his 50c on the ball and sent a bullet into the bottom corner. 1-0 ( a la David Coleman commenting on Malcolm McDonald for all the poms out there).

Apart from a couple of long range efforts we never troubled again as the Whites transformed themselves into Inter Milan for the rest of the game. Rock solid at the back, dominating possession and looking dangerous off every attack. 2-0 looked to be on the cards with 10 mins left when “The Huckster” went on a mazy run that took him past 4 players and deep into their box, but as glory beckoned and he steadied himself to pull the trigger....a sniper shot him in the arse and he dropped to the ground like a sack of spuds as the ball rolled into touch.

Special mention for Big Steve Bynon who never gave their defence a moments piece...standout Whites player in my book.

So, another 3pts, a clean sheet away from home and the Whites continue to sail through unchartered waters. Saturday can’t come quick enough!

Mr 21

Jamberoo 1, Maroons 0

A brave yet ultimately futile performance. The 10 Maroons left standing fought hard and ran all day (except for the lone striker who pulled a calf muscle inside 30 seconds and hobbled all day). Jamberoo's first half goal followed a clear foul on goalie Pete but as the game wore on we had the chances to grab a point, coming closest when a bullet header from the always excellent and inspirational Paul E shaved the top of the bar and TH10's lob cleared the stranded keeper but also the bar. It's true that Jamberoo could have easily added a second as the Maroons tired and threw an extra man forward in the final 15 minutes but they missed a few clear cut chances and we were lucky not to concede a penalty.
The 15 opponents and ref expressed their admiration for our efforts at the finish, but you don't get competition points for never giving up.

Maroons 4, Whites 3

Growing pains and some canny summer transfer business behind them, the Whites have emerged as an impressive force this season. The Maroons have struggled, but with a strong 16-man squad for the first time, they had the legs to just see out the best derby game so far.
Rivalries can lead to impassioned arguments and the odd "clumsy" challenge but they also make for exciting games and ones which live in the memory.
The Maroons have not had a a problem starting well this season, and they were off to another flyer. Trev stormed into the box and was about to pull the trigger when he went down. A white eye might put this down to a sudden loss of coordination but the linesman felt the defender missed the ball and clipped the player. Fergus converted his penalty for his first goal of the season.
It might have been two pens soon after. To a Maroon eye Gary Hardie had his legs taken, to the linesman it was a fair challenge.
Ant's header from a cute corner - Dave C played it short to Gary J who whipped in a perfect cross from the right - did make it 2-0 and the Whites messed up a couple of decent chances. First the ball bobbled on AB when he looked through on goal and then Mr 21 nodded wide with the goal at his mercy.
So far so normal from the Maroons, and what happened next also followed the pattern of the season as a lack of concentration let their opponents in.
A few minutes into the second half, Mr 21 weaved through the box. It was a Matrix moment with the Maroons seemingly frozen as the Whites midfield maestro went through uncontested and dinked a simple shot past Pete.
The goal put the sail behind the Whites and they dominated the next 20 minutes before being caught on the break. Dave C's through ball curled in from the left and TH10 got there ahead of the defence and advancing keeper Dennis. From 3-1 it was soon 4-1 as Ant claimed a second, a powerful shot at the near post.
It is a sign of the new Whites confidence and ability that they stormed back again. First through AB's blinding corner, flying in untouched and then, from another corner, Gary J bundling in the first OG (and hopefully the last) of his career. Steve B hit the bar and a draw looked a likely result.
It was 4-3 with seven minutes to play and the Maroons hung on but just.

Coledale in state comp for first time

Hi all

If anyone is in the Corrimal area on Sunday get on down to have a look at this. A couple of our linesmen will be in action. I suggest dressing up in black and bringing a flag to stick up whenever they're near the ball...


COLEDALE 18’S UP AGAINST STATE’S BEST




Our under 18 boys are playing this Sunday 9th in the first round of the State Cup.

We play Bangor – a team from Sutherland Shire

Where: Corrimal (Memorial Park)

When: kick off at 1.30pm



This is the first time Coledale has had a team in a state knockout.

Come along and cheer our boys on, and watch a great game of soccer

Coledale Cup

With the resumption of the Coledale Cup tomorrow let's recap a few details.

There is an actual cup. It won't change hands tomorrow however but will be presented on July 3.

The cup is decided on aggregate score across the two legs. In the event of a draw on aggregate, away goals count double. If the scores are still level after taking into account away goals then we will have a penalty shootout at the end of the second leg to decide the winners (no extra time!)

The Maroons are the HOME team tomorrow.

Kickoff is 3pm tomorrow and 1pm on July 3.

Please don't bring your own beers to this or other home games. I know it's cheaper and better quality but... We need to pay about $220 per game in refs and ground hire fees and the meagre returns on our beer box helps us pay these fees. Bottled wine or duty free litres of Jack Daniels are fine of course.

Did you know? Neither the Whites or Maroons have ever won a Coledale Cup match at their home ground.

Football more important than relationships?

ok its not Coldelae related in any way whatsoever but is a bloody funny read, it's genuine - the whole email conversation happened on Wednesday last week and after this episode he actually split up with her !!!!

Read from the bottom up

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Ok then.
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I think its best you go and do your Oxford thing and we speak once they've won / lost in the play off's because I can't handle you behaving like a child anymore.

Have a good weekend, see your mates and get ENGERLAND or whatever you always call it and I'll speak to you next week.
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For Christ’s sake, I've offered you an olive branch. Do you want to see me this weekend or not? Either we have a weekend together or we dont but I cant be bothered with a petty row anymore.
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Simon, you don't understand do you? If Swindon win you'll probably come home in a foul mood.
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Come on your being a bit melodramatic, lets have a good night on Saturday. Plus it's not like I would choose to go to Swindon on Saturday, its only because Im being paid to!!!

Come on chill out.
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No you didn't. You've been acting like an a***hole for the last month now, I don't know whats been the matter with you. Your going on the piss all day on Sunday, your going to Swindon on Saturday and your going to Oxford on Monday and don't tell me you wont get pissed because I remember what happened when you went to Tamworth just because you got offered free tickets and we should have gone to Stowe.

Its quite obvious where your priorities lie and im sick and tired of you to be honest.

Have a good weekend with your mates.
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FYI, the game's sold out now. Sorry I did try to get you one. Really hope you can let this go though, it was a genuine mistake and I dont want it to ruin the rest of the weekend.
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No way am I, your basically having a go at me and demanding I pay for you to come to the biggest game of our season so you can sit there 50 seats from me looking miserable.

Sorry you've missed the boat, I spoke to you last week about the nightmare I had getting tickets, I told you my dad and Julie were coming to the game, this isn't my fault and you getting pissed off is not to do with me.
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No can you do it please seeing as though your happy to sort everyone else out other then your own girlfriend. Not once did you actually ask me if I would like to come and unlike you I don't have the Oxford fixture list enscribed into my head so i dont know when they play or dont play. If it was a weekday i wouln't give a shit but when it inturrups a day off that we could spend together then it does bother me.
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Well if there was space there would be a ticket, but seeing as you hate them you can sort yourself out.

https://www.eticketing.co.uk/oxfordunited/default.aspx?utm_source=InitialRelease&utm_medium=OAFCTickets
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So where I thought I would at least get Saturday and monday with you this weekend I now get nothing! Apart from Sat night and Mon night if im lucky?!

I do hate them and when you turn around and tell me that i dont give you anywhere near the same buzz that Oxford give you when they win do you think you can really blame me?! The reason I want to come is so I get to see you, otherwise this bank holiday 4 or 6 hours will be lost on bloody Oxford AGAIN. You can get me the ticket, im sure one of the lads wont mind swapping places plus there will probably be plently of space near you anyway.
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Well that's not me it's you, I dont need you turning what was a nice conversation about the weekend into a horrible one. You told me 3 weeks ago you fucking hate Oxford and don't want to watch any more games again, so when you mentioned nothing about coming to the match whenever it cropped up in conversation I didn't really take that as a "I want to come". I even had a rant about the tickets to you last week - Wembley is only if we win (which we probably wont) these next 2 matches, so that was hypothetical. Where did you think I was getting tickets for on Monday for christs sake?

There's no point in you coming, it's not my fault though.
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I havent heard you once say that you are watching oxford on bank holiday monday, i know you have been going on about them being in Wembley and I assumed thats what you had got tickets for at some point.

Im gonna be sat like a billy f'ing no mates.
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This is the list I had when I bought my tickets, I've been telling you about it for weeks and never have you piped up and said you want to come.

Me
Dad
Julie
Clive
Ben
Adam
Ollie
Sam
Craig
Neil

= 8 adults
= 2 junior
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So how many people are sat with you then?
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I can get a ticket but its the row behind and about 50 seats away from us!!!
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Not once did i get invited or did you tell me when it was! Yes but i would like to sit with you guys i am not going to be a billy no mates
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No baby, not once did you say you wanted to come to the game!!!!

Do you want one yes or no, I will try and book it now.
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I thought you had 10 tickets, am i not having one of them?
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At Oxford . 3pm kick off. The first leg is away at Rushden (where we went on NY day only for it to be called off!) on Thursday night xx

Let me know cos I may struggle to get a seat near where we are but reckon I still can
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Where are they playing?
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Well Monday is the second leg of Oxford 's play off remember!!!

Did you want to come to that? I have bought tickets but could get you another one - even Dad and Julie are coming!
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I dont mind you going over at that time lovely, so long as i get sat night and monday with you xx
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Cinema on Sat night would be nice, I'm up for doing something chilled ahead of what is looking like a massive session on Sunday!!

Coop wants the lads round for 1pm on Sun but not sure I will go that early thoughx x

Why derby will be played at 3pm for the final time

Hi all
Those who played last season will recall that the derby game is played at 1pm for several reasons. The first is, it's winter and it gets quite cold and dark after 5pm so it's better socially to finish at 2.45 and have a beer and a snag after it.
The second is because the juniors wrap up around midday which means Shane and I can hang around after that for not too long without worrying that some local knob is going to come steal the nets in the three hour window if we leave the ground set up. No, we don't fancy sitting around waiting.
Unfortunately, while I always knew in my mind that we would play all derby games including this one at  1pm, I didn't actually spell this out before now. Because it seems some players have other commitments ruling them out of an early start we will, for the sake of club harmony, stick with the intended 3pm kickoff time, for this derby only. We are within our rights to change the game time on the IAFA draw - they are okay with an early start, or a later start for that matter.
So, in a nutshell, this week's game will kick off as planned at 3pm. The July 3 match will be at 1pm. And, if we are in the same position next season (if the whites somehow manage to blow promotion) we will play at 1pm as well.
Hope that clarifies.
Cheers 
 

Whites 2 Figtree 0

BTW ATM AFAIK if stats man Rod is right, the Whites are sitting 4th after 6 rounds. OMG! WTF! LOL! (little old lady?) LMAO! JK! FFS!
enough of that bollocks. For the fourth time this season while shaking hands with the opposition I hear " geez we didnt play well" or "thats our worst game so far". Are the whites riding a golden wave of luck? Hardly. My theory is they arent playing well because we arent letting them. We are no longer the easy beats of the competition. Last years nightmare has galvanised the team, and its showing on the pitch.
The general mood after yesterdays game was it was our worst performance of the year, but hey, we are still at the stage of being eternally grateful for every point. To play like that, were we didnt get out of second gear at all, and still win, makes a nice change from 2009.
Another historic peformance. Our first ever clean sheet, so take a bow Dennis Grobbelaar, Local Historian, Handball, GG, Stiffarm and Vinnie (hows that one Dougie?). Both our goals came in the first half. After 20 minutes Stiffarms immaculately floated dead ball was pounced on by the Gaffer with pretty much his first touch of the game for a cool as a cucumber finish from 5 metres out. As the half drew to a close, the Lost A worked well with Slugger to find himself in space and deftly slid the ball in the low left hand corner from the edge of the box. Mr 21 also had a prime scoring opportunity, completely missing a corner with no one around him and giving away a handball instead. Oh well.
The second half didnt set the world on fire. Mostly it was the figtree no9 falling over in tackles, getting free kicks and missing the goal. Hope he brought the ref a beer after the match. We had fleeting moments, Jono should have opened his goal scoring account when another floated dead ball landed at his toes 2 metres out and couldnt beat the keeper. Gaffer went for glory in the closing stages with Mr 21 screaming for a cross (and eco warrior next to him unmarked, speak up Steve!) and ended up high wide and handsome. Byno and Andres (nickname pending) played strong all day and Hip Replacement got in the oppositions road at the right times.
The Whites march on. Not sure who we play next week......

IFS 3 Maroons 1

I'll leave it to others to write a detailed report. We took the lead early on, they equalised just before the break. They then took the lead heading in a free kick (that never was) and finally wrapped it up in the dying stages as we pushed forward for an equaliser. Flattering scoreline but IMO, they probably deserved the win - others diasagree.

What I will say, is that this is an over 35 competition. Sure it's nice to win (beats losing anytime) but when you get an opposition player offering to "take me on" you have to wonder at the mentality of certain people. Snide comments, deliberately ignoring the ball and running into players backs. FFS it's not the bloody premier league. Grow up.

Maroons 2 Fernhill 0 Part Two

A win so epic it warrants two match reports. This one, replete with nice atmospherics, from the Hitman

Grim faces, light rain and a grey sky greeted us. Eye to eye there was a steely determination from the 12 maroons.

The first half saw us revisiting some of the great Maroon games last year. Plenty of passes to feet, plenty of people wanting the ball. From a defense view point, both wide backs had the space to push up into wide attack. We looked good going forward with the left flank providing some great moves through Ian, Dave C and Jon S. Gary J (Gay J) and Trev were chiming in beautifully with Yoga Dave. Paul E, sitting in behind, was pouncing on the loose ball and feeding off to eager recipients. For me the turning point was a beautiful step-over by Major Tom. This brought a roar from the crowd on the side line (thanks Whites!) and lifted us up a notch. We had at least 6 great shots on goal. Both Daves went over the top, I slammed one into the near post (yes I was as surprised as anyone to be near enough to have a swing!), Trev hit the top corner with a fantastic long-ranger, before Paul E pounced on a Dave C corner and nodded in. Goalie Pete had very little to do all half.

The mood at half time was bright but we weren’t going to make the mistakes of the last few weeks and back off. Fernhill seemed to come back on with a more aggressive attitude. Challenges were getting nasty. Their bald “wing-nut” stepped up to another level of whining agro. Yoga Dave was taken-out (ref was looking elsewhere), Jon copped a few chops, Philo got a knock to the knee, I ate some dirt a few times. Another great move down the left saw Dave shoot the ball across their goal with Gary J claiming the tap in. We started to lose a bit of shape as the half dragged out and they pushed forward. Some fresh legs may have helped here but we dug deep and battled it out. We’ll all be sore today. They went close on a few occasions, but with a bit of grit we shut them out. Late in the game, a brilliant ball from Paul E found Phil lurking on the right in their box. A quick trap then shot saw the post ringing again. Bad luck Phil.

It was a much improved performance. The addition of Jon and Trev made a great impact. All 4 defenders played 90 min and kept a clean sheet. Captain Paul E was everywhere and played a fantastic holding role. Everyone played well.